The Sunday Curse

Lately I feel like the weekends are not relaxing because I can't seem to get well! Three weekends ago I developed a case of the stomach flu and missed Monday to spend some quality time in our bathroom. The weekend before last I got a nasty nasty cold which meant I missed a bunch of work that I can't afford to miss and this last weekend I was recovering from the cold still and got my period to round the weekend out. Although we did have a moment of "this might be the last period for awhile!!!".

To update; we did get to see my cervix. Kinda felt like we were in a 1970's self help group with a hand mirror but it was interesting. Even more interesting Taylor was excited once she was forced to look. :)

Everything still looks good to go for March, probably the week of the 10th!!! We are so so excited. Tomorrow we go to the doctor so that she can pass a uterine sound through the cervix as a trial.

We are realistically hopeful about the insemination and we will keep you updated. Thank you for all of your kind thoughts. :)

Damn Ovaries

So I ovulated early this month. Only by a day or two but still it is annoying. Very annoying. My body has been exceedingly predictable up until this point but of course this month, the month before the actual insemination, it does something funky. Especially annoying as I have an appointment on Tuesday for our doctor to check out what my cervix looks like when I am ovulating. Sigh. This has been a weird month at work in terms of getting people pregnant too, all the donor egg cycles seem to be a little off. Is there something in the air? Let's hope better things for next month! I feel like we are in countdown mode and I am excited and nervous and then nervous about being too nervous. As a side note, I would like to recommend the Clearblue Easy Digital Ovulation Kits with the smiley face. SOOOO much better than staring at two blue lines and trying to figure out if one is darker which invariably leads to you muttering in frustration at a stick you just peed on. Good times.

Legal Stuff

I thought I should write a post about all the fun legal stuff we are dealing with. Especially as our very good friend and future honorary uncle of our baby, Andy, keeps asking me for information. As some of you know there was a domestic partnership law (Oregon Family Fairness Act) that was to go into effect on 1/1/08. An out of state private christian special interest group (The Alliance Defense Fund) got an injunction that prevented it from going into effect until a judge ruled against them last Friday. Registration opened today but my understanding is that the Alliance Defense Fund will appeal the decision. Coincidentally, we had scheduled our first appointment with a lawyer for last week, the day after we went to a rally to support the domestic partnership law. The meeting with the lawyer was really good (she is queer and super nice) although spendy, we will meet with her two more times until it is all finalized. We are getting wills, health care directives, financial directives, and disposal of body directives ($1500) and our lawyer will be able to do the adoption as well once the baby is here ($1000). It is really frustrating and crazy making to realize that even if the domestic partnership law stays in effect we will still not be protected if we leave the state. Hence needing the health care directives in particular. The law is a wonderful step and when we are registered means that we have more protections and rights as a couple in the state but is not the same as marriage and does not equal marriage. The adoption aspect illustrates this as well. Taylor has to adopt our child. This has becoming increasingly stressful and sad as we are closer to being parents. Taylor really has been struggling with it lately as it is so insulting to plan our family together, select a donor together, to plan to be together for the insemination, pregnancy, birth, and parenthood but to be told that Taylor is not a legal parent until an adoption is finalized. If we were a married heterosexual couple using anonymous donor sperm the non biological parent (in this case the husband) would not have to adopt their child. We learned that we need to visit the lawyer when I am in my second trimester so that I can fill out an interim document that will state that my wishes are that Taylor is the parent of our child if something happens to me during pregnancy, during birth, or after birth until the adoption is finalized. It isn't 100% but since I have no family opposition it should allow Taylor to make decisions about the baby as well as me. As soon as the baby is born one of our first calls has to be to the lawyer so that she can come to where we are and have us sign papers to file. It then takes 1-2 months before the adoption is finalized. As much as I liked the lawyer I would rather be calling family and friends at that time! Good news is that the home study (where a social worker comes to your home and inspects it and you) can be waived as there is a biological parent retaining parental rights in the adoption. The bad news is that Taylor also has to have a criminal background check which seems like so much bullshit. At least we feel informed about the process and we feel all grown up having a lawyer. It also reinforces that much work still needs to be done to achieve equality for queer families.