Tired Mama Ramble

Another year, another work holiday party! I think our picture turned out rather nice. Quinn is crazy busy all the time and she is speaking more and more in sentences. Also, she notices things that I don't even notice---and I've come the conclusion that Quinn and Taylor share the same OCD quirks (or maybe Taylor is really a toddler). They like things to be done in the same repetitive way, thrive on routine, and like correcting me. So much for genetics!! We finished teaching our class except for final grades which is a big relief and somewhat of a downer as we enjoyed our students quite a bit. I know it was probably just another class to them but it was a wonderful experience for us and I hope that they learned something. We have been asked to be on a panel at a local gender and sexuality conference in the spring. I think the panel is "queering the family" or something along those lines so it should be fun. I know this is rather disjointed but I am exhausted! I really wanted to post though. Solstice is coming up next Tuesday and I am really surprised this year by how much I want it to be meaningful for Q. We have a small tree and are trying to establish traditions that are consistent. I want it to be meaningful for us too--developing your own holiday stuff is exhausting--almost makes me want to revert back to Christmas and Santa but not enough because seriously, Santa creeps me out. Happy Holidays!

We are back!

Months...I know! Apparently working full time jobs, teaching a class, and having a toddler is time consuming. Quinn is doing great--she talks in five word sentences now ("mama, sit down right there!"), can identify things ("silly mama, here bra"--while I am getting dressed), has developed a voice (which means she runs shrieking through the house), and has a clear sense of self ("Who are you?" "Kin, I Kin"--her version of "Quinn"). She loves school, blocks, balls and her Zaza. Here is a super cute picture of one of her Halloween costumes (she was a tiger for a few minutes and a pumpkin for an afternoon). Enjoy!

My Time with Quinn ...or, The Adventures of an Unemployed Aunt

A few months back when I invited myself to stay with Taylor, Megan and Quinn, I thought that it would be a pleasant way to spend the first month or so of my unemployment. Lest you think I'm a complete layabout, I suppose I should mention that I had a one-year fellowship that ended in May and there is a pretty good job prospect that will likely come to fruition soon-ish. And yes, I would introduce myself as a fellow.

Returning to my expectations of what my visit would entail, I expected tons of pleasant time with Quinn, but that there would be sufficient amounts of time to spend in some of my favorite pursuits—reading, knitting, and watching films. Cut to 5 weeks since I left Missouri for the trek westward, and I've only read or re-read 8 books or so, barely finished half of a single knitting project, and only seen two films in the theater. And frankly, I would call my time spent with Quinn as exhausting. At times stressful. Often fun and full of wonder.

It's amazing to me how much she's changed and developed just since my arrival on June 6th. Her vocab in both words and signs, as mentioned in the previous post, has increased. Aside from when she wears her brand new purple Chuck sneakers (a half-birthday from her favorite aunt), she no longer walks with a seemingly drunken stagger. She's clearly grown as many of her socks and pajamas are starting to get tight. And Quinn's also starting to take more notice of the world around her and trying to identify or figure out people, animals, objects, etc.

It's obviously not all amazement and good times though. She's suffering from a horrible diaper rash currently and this comes after running a bit of a fever, developing canker sores, another slight and fortunately brief fever, and an ear infection. And that's just in the time I've been here. Fret not, as Quinn is showing what a hardy and typically good natured little person she can be. Not all the time, however. There was an instance during which she screamed, cried, kicked, and just WOULD NOT settle down after I removed her from the presence of her parents who had to attend a function at a university and she started to fuss. I got loads of sympathetic but judgmental looks from several passerby's. I still shudder thinking about it. My subsequent babysitting experiences have gone much more smoothly. It helped considerably that two of the three were after her bedtime.

Though I know it's just part of being a toddler, but there are days when I'm certain she's bipolar. Her moods change quickly and while, as mentioned before by those who know her best she is quite the good natured child, it can be physically and emotionally draining to spend time with her. She's fickle as well. One of her favorite words is “no.” Often, though, she won't really mean it. If offered food, she may not take it at first, but in the next second will then gobble it up (she's often cautioned to chew and swallow before taking more).

She’s learning at a rapid pace and has started to mimic certain sounds or gestures. I’ve taken great pleasure in trying to expand her vocabulary and range of expressions. For example, I’ve tried to introduce “fiduciary” into her everyday conversation but so far she finds it more amusing than educational. And one of these days she’s going to have a great evil baby laugh as she can throw her head back with abandon. She just needs to practice on finessing the cackle.

While I’m sad to be leaving, I’m incredibly glad to know that technology exists that allows me to see and speak with her on at least a weekly basis. Still, I very much anticipate my next visit and can’t wait to see the next batch of changes.

Quinn update

Sometimes I forget to post for so long that when I think about doing it I talk myself out of it. Quinn continues to grow like crazy and learn all kinds of new things. To make it simpler and ease myself back into posting here are 10 things that I can remember happening in the last few months!!

1. Quinn's language skills continue to develop. Tonight at bedtime she said "monkey" and apparently a couple nights ago at dinner she said "hell yeah" to her Aunt Irene and Zaza...Zaza tried to tell her it should be "Hells yeah" but she wasn't buying it. She has about 10 plus words now that she uses on a regular basis.

2. She runs everywhere. Everywhere. She is quite busy.

3. She also signs quite a bit and is most emphatic about saying "more, please!".

4. We had visitors (Thanks for coming Moyer family!) and a trip to OMSI.

5. We were told by one of her teachers that they think she will be good at sports as she "full body tackled" one of her little friends.

6. She has developed a shoe fetish. She likes to pick them up, hand them to people, play with them. She is also very excited to put on her indoor shoes or outdoor shoes.

7. She likes to poke her head out the cat door into the garage if she thinks people are out there and shout "hi".

8. She now pushes and pulls on people saying "up" if she would you to come play with her.

9. She tantrums. We are not amused. Okay, a little because it is hard not to be when she flops on the floor.

10. Her skin issues continue with a diagnosis of canker sores in the mouth today. We have to swab her mouth with a mylanta and benadryl mixture. Poor baby.

Stay tuned for a guest blog from Aunt Irene!

--Megan

Quinn dances

Quinn showing off some of her dancing moves in the middle of her quest to get to the cat. She really does enjoy music and gets lots of chances to dance both at home and at school.

Quinn swings

So, we discovered in the last couple of weeks that Quinn really likes to swing. We hadn't tried putting her in one except for once when she was about 8 months old. She didn't like it at that point - and was actually kind of scared of it - but that is no longer the case as you can see for yourselves. There is a baby swing at the community center down the street from our house as well as one at the playground in the big park near us so we do have our choice of swings, it usually depends on how much energy Quinn's parents have in deciding to which one to walk.

Additionally, Quinn took her first two steps last Friday, though we think that she didn't realize she did so... she did realize that her parents are a little weird and enthusiastic though! She is much more secure in standing by herself and is doing so for longer periods of time (and more frequently) each day. She has taken a couple of small steps since Friday but nothing big like her first ones. We think that once she does, she'll pretty much just take off. We are impressed with her sense of body control and balance. Her speed crawling will pay off when it comes to her life-long coordination!

-Taylor

March Update

Quinn is doing great--she is so big that I feel cliche making comments about how time has flown and I don't know how she got so grown up. She is playing peekaboo (and even said it once), trying to say book and more, cruising around although not walking on her own yet. She has big kid shoes, holds her own bottles, and eats chunky food. We even went on a play date last month which was fun and we are extremely relieved and excited that she likes her new school so much. The smaller class size and the time spent outside has created a much calmer environment for her and us. I think going three consecutive days a week works much better as well.

Someone said that we were "natural parents" the other day and I didn't know if I should laugh or cry. While a lot of parenting seems second nature most of it is new and challenging and challenges us as partners as well. Which I think is one of the reasons that we aren't planning on having another child--we could change our mind someday but right now this feels like the right decision for us.

I think the biggest thing about being a parent is the loss of the control from what you want and what your child wants/needs. Also, we thought we were prepared for some of the random questions and situations that our unique family faces but have still been surprised. We have been asked several times where we "got" Quinn (I usually reply "my uterus") as people assume she is adopted (although technically she is as Taylor had to adopt her), most of the time I don't mind talking about the donor or our process in getting pregnant but sometimes people ask really personal questions and it just depends on the mood I am in in terms of how I answer them, Taylor had to argue and call our lawyer after having some problems getting Quinn's amended birth certificate because they didn't understand that due to Oregon's domestic partnership law she was already on the original birth certificate and we learned a few weeks ago that one of Taylor's extended family made some nasty comment while I was pregnant that she wouldn't want her children playing with ours. Big loss---but still a reminder of what we (and more importantly Quinn) will have to deal with. Finally, I am continually surprised by how much people buy into gender roles even for babies. We have made a commitment to dress Q in gender neutral clothes until she can voice what she wants to wear and I constantly get people acting as if we are depriving her because she isn't in pink ruffles. I am wearing pink as I type this--we are not (okay maybe Taylor is) anti-pink but for us, because we view gender is such a different way than most of society, we are trying to give Quinn more of a chance to express herself and don't see this as a restriction.

These things aren't huge issues but little things that tend to wear on you sometimes--I think though, for me, it really energizes me to want to be an advocate for our family and for queer/trans folk. So despite our busy schedules we have decided to teach the Intro to Queer Studies class we taught when I was pregnant, again. Wish us luck!

2010 has to get better...right?

January 2010 was not been the best month for the Doren family! Quinn had an ear infection with her first course of antibiotics, I had scarlet fever, and Taylor is a medical mystery and has had random and unexplained swelling with 4 trips to the emergency room and countless trips to the doctor but here are the things that are making February a better month:

1. Quinn is doing well (aside from the extreme stranger/separation anxiety)and is standing and starting to take steps while holding on to furniture. She had her 1 year check up yesterday and is hitting all of her milestones--we were told she is very verbal for her age and we should read lots and lots of books to her. She is in the 90th percentile for height, 45th for weight, and 70th for head circumference. She still loves to say hi to everyone, bye is said sometimes, uh oh is a favorite, mama but still not to me--although once the other day she seemed to say it to me and she said zaza to Taylor.

2. Taylor has found an allergist that has her on a new protocol. We are trying to determine if she has hereditary angioedema or if it is a different type of angioedema. It has been pretty scary and frustrating to not know what is going on and to have Taylor swell up like Violet in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory...her lips, hands, and even an ear today! She sees the doctor in a month to see how her body responds to this treatment. It feels good to have a plan.

3. My mom is visiting and Taylor's mom will come later this month which fills our house with grandparent love!

4. Quinn has started a new daycare (on 2/3) and it is going really well. We loved the people at St. James but since Quinn weaned herself from breastfeeding last month (another reason why January was a little sad for me) we didn't need a location so close to my work. We had toured two local centers in November and in January got a spot with one and then the other (which we preferred) had an opening so we forfeited the deposit on the first and went with the second. Those of you who know us and our agnostic beliefs (as well as distrust of organized religion) will find it amusing that our daughter is now attending a Jewish school. It is amazing though, with a max of 8 kids in her class (usually fewer), a toddler dedicated playground, opportunities to use the community center facilities that the school is linked to, and it is $150 less per month! Wonderful :)

5. Quinn's new favorite thing is to talk to family on the webcam--she now yells hi anytime she sees the computer. I have posted a picture of Taylor and I from December that Quinn particularly likes for some reason.

Happy February everyone! I hope it is a great month for all.

Megan

Quinn is turning one!

Though it's hard to believe, Quinn's birthday is tomorrow. We are amazed at how quickly the year has passed and how grown up she seems. We were able to spend almost a week in Boise over New Year's at her grandparent's house. When we arrived she had three teeth which had broken through - when we left that had doubled, so she was working hard. She was very excited to hang out with her aunts, uncle, and grandparents, though they taught her a bad habit of spitting and she can't differentiate between it being ok when she's not eating and it not being ok when she is eating. She has pretty much mastered the ability to pull herself up and is able to stand by herself without holding onto anything for 2 or 3 seconds before falling onto her bum. We continue to be stressed, over-tired, and busy but we can't wait to see what her next year brings. The picture of the snail is something her Uncle David made (with some assistance from Aunt Leah) using only hand tools. It's her book buggy and is very cool!