We had a really hard day on Friday. The baby is fine...not to worry, it is moving all over the place and bouncing itself off my internal organs...we have had several more people insist that it is a girl from how I am carrying.
The depressing situation was this: currently, I am doubly insured through my work and through Taylor's work (although we are taxed on this through Taylor's work as there is no federal tax code for our relationship). We are lucky that the State of Oregon allows me to be insured as a domestic partner as many employers do not have this as an option. We thought we were being proactive and have been putting the maximum we could for the pregnancy and childbirth into a flexible spending account (FSA) (for those not in the know this takes money out of Taylor's paycheck pre-tax and we can submit claims on it to use towards health related expenses). The maximum amount you can have in a FSA is $5,000. We have submitted two rounds of claims for reimbursement. We got a denial letter on Friday that stated that our most recent claim is denied because this money cannot be used for me at all...apparently we didn't read the fine print (yes, we feel stupid) and as the flexible spending program follows federal regulations. Because we are not recognized as family by the federal government we basically lose most of that money, unless Taylor somehow manages to spend $5,000 on out-of-pocket medical expenses. To make matters even worse, I pointed out that they had covered me in a previous claim, hence my confusion and they said this was a mistake on their part and they would be needing that money back.
I spoke to a whole bunch of people at flexible spending and with the state and we will be writing a letter asking the state to make these circumstances more clear for those in our type of situation. I had a mini crying breakdown at work and I think my boss and my co-workers were happy to see me go home a little early. The whole thing is just reinforcing the importance that our families are recognized legally. Unfortunately, neither of the current presidential candidates support same sex marriage but we can hope for the future! FYI this is not to say that we are not voting for Obama because of course we are but we are certainly not happy with his stance on this issue.
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Needless to say, I find this an outrage. Not only do SOME flexible spending accounts allow for any dependent (parent, child, spouse, etc) while others do not it is yet again an example of the inconsistent and discriminatory thinking that is so very ingrained into "ordinary thinking" that it is just not questioned by many, it is also so much against the principals for which I, among others, have promoted and worked for, for decades now. Very frustrating and maddening to me and others "of my ilk". Pah! poxes upon all of their houses!
Papa, whose chain has been yanked very hard.
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